Back to work?

I've been hashing this question out all year.  Health insurance is outrageous and I need to go back to work just for that! I loved my job and my school and the possibility of giving that up and maybe never being able to go back to that exact school makes me sad. On the other hand I feel like I am suppose to be home with Olivia and Eli. I would like to do something on Fridays if I could get the grandparents to keep the kids.. really for sanity sake and to keep my skills up and bring in extra money. I didn't put in 6 years of college and grad school for nothing! I've pondered working for a private practice, starting my own private practice, contracting with the schools, working 1 day with the schools and I'm still clueless as to what I want to do.

I've had the opportunity to be a full time working mom (I worked 3 jobs at one point), work part time and stay at home part time, and then this year I've been at home full time. There are pros and cons to all three and mom guilt goes along with them all. When I worked full time I felt guilty that I wasn't home e enough and I was missing out on my kids growing up.  I felt guilt that my mom helped me out too much. When I worked part-time I felt guilty because I couldn't seem to give 100% to work and 100% to the kids on my days off.  I guess it didn't help I was trying to work a 60+ kid caseload in 3 days. It seemed on my days off I would have to play catch up. Now staying at home I feel guilty that I can't get everything done I want to get done. There are days when laundry piles up, when I feel like I don't play enough with the kids, when Olivia doesn't wear her hearing aids very much, when there is crying and fussing and I'm ready to pull my hair out.

So now, I'm sitting here typing while Eli is watching Mickey Mouse beside me. He's holding my hand and he wants to type... so I'm going to let him type :)


ELI

KMMM.,NVCMNBVN

N
P
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAljgdswqpmnlie

D
M
O
I


He typed his name.. he can find his letters without me telling me and spell his name. Then ADD kicked in and we had to type miscellaneous letters.  I asked him to find Nana's letter, Papa's letter, ADD kicked in again. Then he typed Daddy's letter, Mommy's letter, Olivia's letter, and Isaac's letter.